So I'm married, and it's pretty awesome. Our apartment looks great and we are both responsible job-do-ers. I make meals... on occasion... and they have turned out swimmingly of late. And our ward is both large and friendly. Things are going grand. I still like my husband.
That's pretty much it for updates. If you would like to read a rant about internet commenters, please continue reading.
Today I have made an important discovery. A life-changing discovery. A world-turning, magma-bubbling, cloud-wringing discovery.
Lies. It's none of those things.
What I discovered today was that 76% of people, and I promise you that's a completely accurate statistic, go online...anywhere...to find someone to disagree with.
Example A:
As I was practicing my finely honed skill of time-wasting this morning, I happened upon a list of fantastic April Fool's pranks (their claim, not mine.) I am not a fan of April Fool's, or pranks generally, mostly because I think a lot of the time people take them too far and ruin things or hurt people or, ya know, some other horrible thing. But I don't mind other people doing pranks. I can see how it's fun. And I can definitely appreciate a tasteful, harmless prank (...played on someone else.) Like rubber-banding the sink sprayer so it sprays on whoever turns on the sink. That's funny stuff!
Anyway, as I was perusing the list, I read a prank that goes something like this:
"-For rooms across the hall from each other.When your children (or roommates or squatters, whatever) are asleep or in their rooms, tie a rope around each door knob, leaving enough length for one of the doors to be opened slightly. Knock loudly on each door at the same time and watch the poor suckers play tug-of-war with their doors! Ha ha!" (transcription very loosely follows the actual quote)
I thought, "oh ha, ah ha ha, that would be funny" or something similar to that, and moved on down the list.
I finished the list. I saw there were comments. Because I am an accomplished waster of time, I read ALL of them. One of them is the reason for this blog. It went something like this.
"I am a resident assistant at a college and these jokes are not funny, and some of them are actually really dangerous. Tying ropes to door knobs is a fire hazard and is so dangerous, no one should ever do that. Jokes aren't very funny when people can get hurt or even die."
Whew, downer.
I get the fire hazard thing. Putting people in danger = not cool. We can all agree. But you are not going to tie the doors closed and then leave the house for the rest of the day. You aren't going to see a fire and take off, leaving the poor prankees to their fate. It's a 3 minute prank that you hang around to watch, then take down. Don't be dumb and leave it all day, that would be like having to explain a joke when someone doesn't get it -- it loses its charm quickly. To me, this rope prank is as much of a fire hazard as tucking in your sheets before you sleep under them. Just...relax about things. And don't use your RA job to add credence to your statement about dangerous things. It's silly.
Example B:
I've also come across this argument phenomenon on Pinterest often. I have found that if there is any picture of a woman, whether skinny (healthy or not) or fat (healthy or not), I can click on it and enjoy a whole delightful smattering of argumentative comments about whether or not she is beautiful/admirable/healthy. I have made a kind of game out of clicking on those pictures just to see if once -- just one time -- I will not see a string of comments that goes like this:
1st comment: Wow she is so skinny and beautiful, I hope I will look like her after I do this amazing workout routine I've started.
2nd comment: Um excuse me 1st commenter, you do not have to be skinny to be beautiful for all we know she could be really unhealthy its ok to be big and just for the record i dont think she's that pretty.
3rd comment: Big or skinny everyone is beautiful plz stop saying she's ugly just cause you don't like it everyone is perfect just as they are.
While I more or less agree with the last commenter in these situations, I still think commenting on these at all is generally a bad idea because someone will have something to argue about and the process will continue endlessly. Because three-fourths of people plus a few more will always search out something until they can find even the minutest reason to get in your face.
I realize this post is sort of contradictory to my whole point, since I'm basically arguing against internet arguers...on the internet... but since it's a blog I find it to be acceptable.
And that's my two cents about silly internet arguments, and how they are both eye-roll inducing and amusing.